Should I write this list? Probably not...

I have little to hide. All of you know this...

This is a "short" list of some of the things that have happened in my life...obviously not close to complete in any way. Don't try this at home, and God, please don't hold any of it against me.

Let's see, where do I start?

I tried to be the best parts of five religions at once.

I have kissed four girls on three separate occasions.

I posed nude for art classes...drawing, not photography.

Almost killed myself rapping back down from a climb in Jack's Canyon, UT.

I rode 65 miles until I had nothing left, was crying and literally fell off of my bike at the finish line.

I have participated in 6 triathlons.

I lived in NH for a semester teaching children nonsense and beauty about everything from parachutes to taking them hiking for the first time in their lives.

I changed my name from Kristen McKernan to Kristen Martinez in middle school.

I've threatened to kill myself with pills and a knife on one occasion.

I have racked up a $3000 bill after fainting during a routine blood draw and seizing.

I have dated people upwards of 7 years, topping out at 20 years my senior and kissed two men three and two years my junior.

I've spent a new years eve on top of the Bank of the West building.

I have been on tv at least twice

I discovered the tooth of a new creature and never saw my name in the article.

I have had sex in a car in a church parking lot, and several other places.

I have never been in jail.

I have pretended to smoke once...never inhaled.

I have orgasmed in many more places than I have had sex...

I have listened to my favorite band play at a house in the boonies and got to eat at the Frontier with them afterwards.

I have listened to a band called "Mr. Matt's Beaver Fever" play their set at a Laundromat before we all got kicked out for noise violation (the titty bar two doors down called the cops).

I have stayed up for 72 hours just to say I did and saw a nice sunrise.

I have hit a bullseye twice in a row with a bow and arrow.

I have taken pictures with the farmer and his turkeys at a Mormon turkey farm.

I was hit on and propositioned by a man who, the next day, promptly shot and killed at least four people.

I have jumped out of a plane with a man and a parachute strapped to my back and have the video to prove it.

I climbed a plastic 5.12-...say what you will.

I have spent a spring break in a little Mexican town on the beach.

I have turned heads.

My OB-Gyn once told me that I had nice thighs. Then I saw her dressed as a leopard for halloween when I went trick-or-treating.

I have driven to Las Cruces in a Pirate van that ended up scaring an old lady so badly that she reported it to her apartment manager.

Climbed to the top of a dilapidated Pecan factory and shook harder than I ever have in my life.

Touched a penguin...in captivity.

I've gone on many paleontology digs.

I attended a semester of truck driving 101.

I used a bike as my primary form of transportation for over four years.

I had my upper ear pierced but had to take it out because of Judo.

I lost my only Judo match.

I was the flower girl/ring bearer at my mom and dad's wedding.