Addition to the last list

I guess I forgot to put down that at 15 years old I found out that I had two uteri (what the hell is the plural of uterus?) and one kidney...suprise!

I have halucinated anything from a space slug to birds to dead bodies and dogs...all of my roomates can attest to this. None of this is in any way drug induced.

One year I recieved W-2's from at least 5 states.

I never honestly ditched classes until college.

I can't think of any more...Although I love my life and there are some things that I've done that I can't put on the list and probably more that I can't remember and still more that probably wouldn't be interesting to you, my life is just not fit for writing ;)...

Should I write this list? Probably not...

I have little to hide. All of you know this...

This is a "short" list of some of the things that have happened in my life...obviously not close to complete in any way. Don't try this at home, and God, please don't hold any of it against me.

Let's see, where do I start?

I tried to be the best parts of five religions at once.

I have kissed four girls on three separate occasions.

I posed nude for art classes...drawing, not photography.

Almost killed myself rapping back down from a climb in Jack's Canyon, UT.

I rode 65 miles until I had nothing left, was crying and literally fell off of my bike at the finish line.

I have participated in 6 triathlons.

I lived in NH for a semester teaching children nonsense and beauty about everything from parachutes to taking them hiking for the first time in their lives.

I changed my name from Kristen McKernan to Kristen Martinez in middle school.

I've threatened to kill myself with pills and a knife on one occasion.

I have racked up a $3000 bill after fainting during a routine blood draw and seizing.

I have dated people upwards of 7 years, topping out at 20 years my senior and kissed two men three and two years my junior.

I've spent a new years eve on top of the Bank of the West building.

I have been on tv at least twice

I discovered the tooth of a new creature and never saw my name in the article.

I have had sex in a car in a church parking lot, and several other places.

I have never been in jail.

I have pretended to smoke once...never inhaled.

I have orgasmed in many more places than I have had sex...

I have listened to my favorite band play at a house in the boonies and got to eat at the Frontier with them afterwards.

I have listened to a band called "Mr. Matt's Beaver Fever" play their set at a Laundromat before we all got kicked out for noise violation (the titty bar two doors down called the cops).

I have stayed up for 72 hours just to say I did and saw a nice sunrise.

I have hit a bullseye twice in a row with a bow and arrow.

I have taken pictures with the farmer and his turkeys at a Mormon turkey farm.

I was hit on and propositioned by a man who, the next day, promptly shot and killed at least four people.

I have jumped out of a plane with a man and a parachute strapped to my back and have the video to prove it.

I climbed a plastic 5.12-...say what you will.

I have spent a spring break in a little Mexican town on the beach.

I have turned heads.

My OB-Gyn once told me that I had nice thighs. Then I saw her dressed as a leopard for halloween when I went trick-or-treating.

I have driven to Las Cruces in a Pirate van that ended up scaring an old lady so badly that she reported it to her apartment manager.

Climbed to the top of a dilapidated Pecan factory and shook harder than I ever have in my life.

Touched a penguin...in captivity.

I've gone on many paleontology digs.

I attended a semester of truck driving 101.

I used a bike as my primary form of transportation for over four years.

I had my upper ear pierced but had to take it out because of Judo.

I lost my only Judo match.

I was the flower girl/ring bearer at my mom and dad's wedding.

This week encapsulated

this week I...

lost a friend and it hurt

gained two pounds

made a little girl laugh

accepted the most beautiful red roses

helped my students learn about their shoulders

hired two of the best workstudies ever

became an apartment renter for the first time

heard some bad news about people I love very much

climbed again and it felt good

missed my lover and then didn't

purchased my first vinyl

taught solely for the love of it

spoke to my long lost boss and mentor

found out what the word "baller" meant

saw the worst in a colleague

explored and pushed boundaries

stole because of someone else's stupidity

thought for a second I might turn gay...

had another panic attack related to my absurd fear of dying
and/or getting old

wore high heels for the first time since I left the Benz

so very much enjoyed having my car back

said fuck a whole lot

introduced my mom to the obsession that is gelato

started feeling my shoulder again

saw myself in a photo that shows how jacked up my levator scapulae really is

thought about calling the god Doc; After all, I do still owe him for the last time

regretted leaving Sports and Wellness just a little

confirmed that I do, in fact, know way too much about the current rap scene and urban dialect

thought about the fact that it ain't trickin' if you got it...hehehehe

did a lot of waiting around for text messages

started getting more and more confused

Me so clever...You can learn the most from online quizzes...bitches

1) Favorite object in your room?
When I get a room of my own, my favorite object will be me...'cause I'll finally be in my own room.

2) Have you ever smoked heroin?
Um, not even in a dream

3) Do you own guns?
Pft, you don't even know...

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic?
Apple. Or piss.

5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Usually I'm going in for something unpleasant so I'd say yes.

6) What do you think of hot dogs?
I wonder what's in this???

7) Favorite song?
Right now? Mmmm, I like "Whatever you like"

8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Soy milk...and water

9) Can you do push ups?
Well, I haven't tried a regular one...but I recently did one off of a Fit Ball.

10) Can you do a chin up?
Assisted. Chin ups are easier because they involve the biceps...pull ups are done with the hands pronated...so they're harder...But they're all hard for me.

11) What's your Favorite Restaurant?
Winnings Coffee House.

12) Do you like blue cheese?
Fuck no. I love cheese but that ain't cheese.

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
True on all counts. I've been in a car and a wreck...in a car.

14) Was it your fault?
What? Yes, it was definitely my fault that the London bridge fell. Funny story actually...I was walking to the grocery store, you see...and then, ah, too long...next question.

15) What's one trait that you hate about yourself?
There is only one thing I hate about myself and I can't do anything about it...so why beat myself up over it.

16) Middle name?
Yep, got one of those

17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment..
I think my head is going to explode
I need more water
Sleep sleep sleep

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday:
Bake sale food stuffs (Unfortunately, I'm still in this damned "fat girl" mode...)
The chicken wrap with hot wing sauce in it
Superfood Odwalla to make myself feel better about the "fat girl" thing

19) Name 3 drinks you drink regularly?
Water water water
All the gross Odwallas (but I love the good ones)
chocolate soy milk...my very berry therry hairy favorite

20) Current worry?
Oh fuck off and die.

21) Current hate right now?
Questions like #20...

22) What are you craving right now?
Seriously? Olive oil...a lot of it. Organic.
sleep, water and really really gross odwallas...like carrott juice. blah, ggggggg.

23) How did you bring in the New Year?
Had second Christmas with Chris and the girls...it was wonderful...and a bit scary.

24) Where would you like to be right now?
Watching Dumb and Dumber...don't ask. It's stupid. I need a fucking hug.

25) Name three people who will complete this?
No one...I'm all alone.

26) Do you own slippers?
Do my Puscifer slippers count? Godamn things are cursed...I can never find both of them.

27) What shirt are you wearing?
Blue silk tank top...heheheh. Great for yoga.

28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
I would love to.

29) Can you whistle?
Sexy-like

31) Would you be a pirate?
I want yer booty.

32) What songs do you sing in the shower?
Classics like "Got money", "Sexual Eruption", "A milli", "Stuntin' is a habit", "Unfaithful", etc.

33) Favorite girl's name?
Nakomis...the eskimoooo.

34) Favorite boy's name?
Ephraim

35) what's usually in your pocket?
I wear skin-tight yoga pants...so nothing bitches.

36) Last thing that made you laugh?
Olive oil...hahahahehaha hah ha. ha...oh shit.

37) Best bed sheets as a child?
I probably had some sort of rainbow bright shiznit.

38) Worst injury you've ever had?
My shoulder still hurts from 2.5 years ago. Imagine that. I'm thinking Posterior deltoid...any takers???

39) Do you love where you live?
Eh. Whatever. If I could relocate everything I loved to somewhere where I didn't get this many wrinkles...I'd do it so fast.

40) How many TVs do you have in your house?
When I get my place...zero. Oh the fucking glory.

43) Does someone have a crush on you?
Eh, I don't give a flying fuck anymore.

44) Do you like them back?
When that happens, I'll know.

45) What is your favorite movie?
I really loved Little Miss Sunshine. That, yes, all the way.

46) What is your favorite sports team?
Who's got the best cheerleaders???

47) Where is your Favorite place to be?
With people. In yoga too.

48) Where is the next place you want to travel to?
Send me to a place where nothing is like here.

49) What were you doing 12 AM last night?
My last text was at 1030pm, so I think I was trying really hard to get some sleep. Probably wasn't going well...

50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Oh fuck.

The Sunday I had off

I'm sitting in the middle of my day.

My curfew was called last night. Well, my dad called last night. When I arrived home shortly after midnight, I came in silently. Tossed like a fucking salad for the whole rest of the night worried about one thing or another. Woke up to what is now quickly slipping through my fingers.

I crave comfort. Just feeling comfortable in my own skin. Having no one to answer to but myself and the greater. Nothing holding me back. Making decisions I may or may not be ready to make for myself. Sometimes we are afraid to make them fearing our lives will fall apart. It's the universe's biggest secret.

Part of me is happy here. Part of me needed the guidance. Part of me needs the constant parental attention. Part of me loves being here when my brother is home and spending this day with the person who gives my life meaning.

Then there is that other part of me. That well known part. That unprofessional, sloppy, silly, wild, gutter-minded, feisty, crazy fiend that knows full well that if I'm pinned down for too long I'll start to lose my identity again. I'm dangerous when I'm let out. I break and use and destroy to appease that part of me. As much and as full as it wants, it gets...feeds like I fucking animal. People, ideas, places, ritual, selfishness.

I came here...to this place inside myself, by myself to learn something. To hear something. To sit and to wait. But I keep going. I keep on going. I can't sit. I'm not alone yet. I'm careful. Not careful enough. I'm already using and destroying and breaking and I can feel it rising...my truth. I'm always a nice person....but I'm not always a good person.

The fire of betrayal and sin burns out of control beside the fire of loyalty and honor. They destroy each other and me along with them...in a haze. In the smoke I can see it beyond where I am. I am always traveling towards it, but it is elusive. Always seeming to get farther away as I come upon it.

All I see is me. All I see is my truth. And my truth is ugly. My truth is selfish and toxic. It feels so good. I let it consume me as I consume for it. To sustain it.

I am fucking human...and I have to accept that once and for all.

Yoga at Stone Age- It's what made my day beautiful

There are few things more rewarding in my day than to see people struggle. Just kidding. There are few things more rewarding in my day than to see people push their limits, if only just a little, to make a difference in their own lives.

I enjoy what I do. I enjoy yoga. I enjoy seeing people do yoga.