A series of unfortunate...jokes

One day God spoke to Adam and Eve
He told them that he had a gift for each of them, but that they had to decide who got what

"The first gift is the gift of being able to pee while standing up"
Being excited about getting gifts, without hesitation, Adam exclaims "Pee standing up! That would be awesome! I'll take that one."

God says "Okay Adam- peeing while standing up, it's yours. Eve, you get the other...multiple orgasms"




Joke #2.

A hot blond walks into a casino and straight over to the craps table. A couple of dealers are standing around the table. The blond is eager to play. "I'm feelin' lucky tonight but I feel even more lucky when I'm completely nude...do you mind?" The dealers shake their heads in amazement. She strips down, shakes the dice... "Come on! Mama needs a new set of clothes" and rolls the dice. "I won I won!" she exclaims, jumping up and down excitedly.

The woman takes her chips, gathers her clothes and runs out of the casino.

One dealer looks at the other and asks " What did she roll?"
"I don't know, I thought you were watching."...

Moral of the story: Not all blonds are dumb, but all men are men.


Joke #3.

A blond and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane.
They start gambling-a friendly betting game.

"Okay, so if you can't answer one of my questions, you have to give me $5. If I can't answer one of yours, I give you $50," says the lawyer. "What is the distance from the Earth to the nearest star?"

Without saying a word, the blonde forks over the $5.
"What walks up a hill in the morning on two legs, but walks down the hill in the evening on four?" asks the blonde.

"Okay, you got me." He hands her the $50. She puts it away in her purse...
There is a brief silence...
"Okay, but what was the answer to your riddle?" asks the lawyer.

Without saying a word, the blonde forks over another $5.