Monday, September 29, 2008

Facebook is a scary place to go right now

Kristen...

wishes she'd been five minutes later.
doesn't know what everyone's problem is, trying to tell her how to feel.
hurts all over.
doesn't know how to handle the facebook situation, but also knows it's the least of anyone's concerns.
wants you to know that her friend will never be worthy. BTW, did I tell you he has a truck?
says that you saw it before she did. Bravo.
misses Aldo already. What a good boy he was.
saw how drunk God's avatar was this afternoon.
isn't cancelling the book club. Oh God, they will hate me.
is afraid to lose him forever because of this.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

The lock


I did this and it's not okay.

The calendar and the wine and my love were for you.

But no, not the blueberries.

I didn't lie. I didn't cheat. But I feel like I stole.

I'm sitting here with all my new found free time not knowing what to do. My students are frustrated, and I'm failing them.

Fire drill, quiz, stuttering, locked my keys in my office, I can't deal with myself. I wish I could run away from me.

Too fast. I'm making a bad decision. The right one?

I just sit and cry.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Catching up

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I hope there are no small children subscribed to my blog
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Friday, September 19, 2008

My Obsessions


My "something selfish"




Another list of the things that make me happy. Updated, revised, revisited, and supplimentary to the previous list:




1. Knowing all the words to not only good music, but all rap songs...especially the ones sung in Spanish.




2. Blogging- there is something fundamentally fun and selfish about writing about yourself, your life and poetry that is meaningless to anyone who isn't me.




3. Showers/Baths/heat




4. Teaching




5. Texting- there are so many things you can do and say over text that you would/could never do or say in person...




6. Running




7. Being absolutely balls out fucking crazy- life is somewhat easier when your friends have no idea how smart and professional you can be and your co-workers have no idea how many beavers there are in the beaver song. That's a good question.




8. The beaver song- there are 10 beavers in the beaver song...oddly enough there is no beaver 10.




9. Waiting all day for people to show up....but serious, Sarcasm.




10. Trouble.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Hungarian

i lie down face up in the bathtub after a passionate conversation about irony, deviance, fire, beauty.

i feel nothing.

i am thinking like I did when i was happy...

that kind of happy I remember as happy. the difference is that i don't remember being sad. i remember being excited. discovering something shiny from within. something important. always looking to the future but enjoying the present as if it were an expensive wine.

i know sad. i know hurt. the difference was the absence of knowing. the naiveté. the daoist who doesn't know that she is one.

i submerge my face, my eyes, my ears, everything but my nose and mouth, but even they are just barely peaking. I want to be as inside of the water as i can be. drown the outside and hear from underneath.

I pull myself up.
A Beep and a Buzz...

The Hungarian is speechless, scared, but still does not trust. I had to trust. no fair.

freezing cold but i stay. beep buzz beep buzz constantly pulled from within from underneath from inside to experience more

The Hungarian is thankful. Yes. Understands what crazy means. drinks life like wine on a porch far away from here. goes there on a motorcycle.

i'm left to myself. challenging the fire closer to my home. i am beneath the water hearing what the water has to say.

And the Hungarian doesn't care. is hiding just as much. is ready to die.

I am far away. apparently I should have taken the bus. I was much healthier then...

i am not ready.

nor is the Hungarian...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Something shiny


He lies down on the shower floor with the water on.

He finds the shiny backing to my earring, tiny though it is.

Finds it lying there next to him, living the same fate. Waiting to be found.

Something shiny in the corner of his eye. Accidentally found.

He finds it by accident. Stumbles upon something important.

By accident.

I am gone. I am crawling around on my hands and knees staring at the blank gray carpet.

I was gone a long time ago.

I found that something shiny that I was looking for. I was looking on my hands and knees.

I couldn't find, try as I might, the other half.

The two are still apart. Though I know where each is.

I must lie down and wait for him to come looking for that small important shiny bit.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Be there or Be De-friended


I swear I'll cancel our facebook friendship if you don't come to my group classes.


Starting on September 12th, Stone Age Climbing Gym is hosting "Climb 8"...Eight days and nights of climbing.


It will be kicked off, so to speak, on Friday the 12th with a Stone Cup competition, live band, all the regular comp goodies/partayh, etc. Saturday and Sunday have their own promotions that are spectacular as well.


The EXCITING part starts on Monday the 15th.


8-9am Kristen is running a Pilates-Style Mat clinic

930-1030am Kristen is running a Yoga-Style Mat clinic

7-8pm Kristen is running another Yoga-Style Mat clinic

It gets BETTER! Jodi Coletta will be teaching also, Lance will be running his own clinics, and John and Ralph from ParkFit ABQ. will be doing kettle bell clinics. This all starts 730am so call for times!


16th will be ladies night...so ladies, get out there and rock it out.


On Wednesday morning we will start our NEW MEMBERS ONLY MORNING HOURS!

Classes start that morning.


Thursday I will be teaching a 7-8am Class (probably yoga)

Jodi will be teaching 9-10am Pilates


The week will finish off with a bang--check it out at Stone Age for WAY more information on what's going on ALL WEEK LONG.


AFTER THAT! Member only morning hours will continue. My group classes will be held:


7-8am Tuesday and Thursday AND Thursday evenings 530-630pm. There will be group classes by Jodi, Ralph and John Monday through Thursday mornings and evenings as well. ALL FREE FOR MEMBERS-Or pay day pass price. From now on!


Be there...