April showers bring May flowers...what does April wind bring?

Doctor Goodman and I have been talking a lot about what makes us who we are. Are the things you do who you are? Is what you like and dislike who you are? Is being a nice person a good way to explain who someone is?
I explained to him that for a long time I didn't want to climb and that was a bit disconcerting. I figured that it wasn't climbing that made me who I am, it's the fact that I like to be active. Instead of climbing, I had taken up triathlons. They're a lot of work, and really fun. The fact is, if I had stopped being active all together, I think people would have been worried.
That said, I went climbing last night and it was great.
My friend Michela used to love to read. You name it (and it was controversial or interesting) and she had already read it. Day, night, rain, shin, title wave, she would be reading. And although I didn't exactly classify Michela as a "reader" I was surprised when she said she hadn't picked up a book in who-knows-how-long. But still, there are certain things that make Michela Michela. She stands out among others, she is unique.
If you gave me a transcript of a phone conversation between two of my friends, with no names, no voices, I really believe that I would be able to tell who they were. Because they are different. But why? What makes them so?
I didn't get the CNM position. But it was between me and the person who got the job...out of 10 people.
Today I interviewed with Gold's Gym as a Personal Trainer. I think I may have asked him more questions than he asked me. Another attempt at breaking into a future more fitting to who I am.
Who am I? I told the good Doc I didn't know.
I'm really excited about the hotel we're staying at in Boulder for the "Tri For Your Cause" triathlon on May 4th. It's Boulder's first "No waist" hotel, it has a free-standing top-out boulder, a no-chlorine pool and I picked it because of the cool picture on google.
Stay little red fox. Wait until your seeds grow. Until the roots and veins and leaves are strong enough to go with you.
I think I've convinced Chris to come up with the girls that weekend. I hate going without them. It feels wrong. Terra's birthday is May 1st. 13 years old. I think Boulder's climbing gyms and fresh air will be fun for them.
I hate my job. Cassia keeps congratulating me for quitting, though I haven't. I feel bad. I'm having a hard time finding a place with health insurance. I'm dependent. I need it. It's 4pm. I just have to make it an hour and a half. This job, this place, these people are not who I am.
I put in for vacation from the 5-10th to go see Jessica, my BFF from high school/college in North Carolina. I can't wait to see water. I can't wait to see her. Can you characterize yourself by the company you keep? There is evidence for it.
Is it the things that you find exciting? Right now I'm excited about a member survey I wrote up for Stone Age. I made a box and everything. I could hardly speak last night, I was so excited. It will give me an idea of how to be useful at Stone Age. How to start my career. How to open my wings. I know, one damn survey and I'm suddenly Bette Midler (Wind beneath my wings).
It's always nice to be recognized. I just opened an email forwarded to me by my Fitness Instructor. He wrote it to a gym manager who I would love to work for. He described me to this manager as "She is book smart with very good people skills." Yep, that's me :). I do appreciate that one :). In that same vein, I really appreciate all of my friends. I really care about all of you. If you can classify yourself by the company you keep then I'm damn awesome.

In no order of importance, here is a list of the ways in which I see my friends. I don't think that people tell their friends often enough how much they are loved.

Chris- you brilliant, deep, strong, caring fool, you. You somehow have the strength to go right on finding good nature in man and dog alike. And cheers to your beautiful parenting. Thanks for feeding and watering me :). Thanks for letting me be whoever the hell I am. I love you for exactly who you are. If only I understood any part of what you understand.

Angela- I don't know who would come up with party ideas if you weren't around. I'm so happy to have a UTI buddy. Thanks for all the advice and the living space. PS. I know you're a triathlete at heart even though you've been busy. Keep up the stiff upper lip soldier.

Melanie- I was just talking about you the other day. How you somehow always have something nice to say that can keep me from feeling like the world hates me. I appreciate you getting out of bed to come kick my ass in the pool. You throw killer dinners. It has been a pleasure getting to know you, my Canadian friend.

Tim- Thanks for making Melanie happy. Thank you for having interesting things to say when we get past the "hitting on" thing. I know you don't mean it.

Beth- God you're cool. One of the sweetest people I know. So mellow. So fun at parties. And good at making faces in Aaron's photos.

Aaron- an intricately designed brain that is both creative and destructive. Hmm, that's the makings of some good art. Thank you for laughing at me. Someone needs to do it. Maybe our psychological underpinnings don't make us who we are, but they certainly make us think about who we are. Thank you both for being strong.

Priscilla- made from the same damn scrap of fabric, we are. Scrappy girl who is trying to make something of herself to prove that she can overcome adversity. Funny as hell. I'm in stitches every time you come into my office and tell me stories only a receptionist can tell. Thank you for being a role model to your brother and sister. Thank you for making this place bearable.

Cynthia- wisdom comes in many forms. Like a phoenix rising from some beautiful flame, somehow you always have the answers I'm looking for. Spiritual guidance from a fellow red-head. Thank you for letting me confide in you.

Cassia- I enjoy taking you to school so much. I want to buy you a world full of things to nurture your future so you don't end up hating people. I can't. Young, creative, hungry for knowledge and experience, tolerant. You hold too much in for such a young girl. Thank you for making my life rich.

Terrapin- You are really turning out to be something wonderful. I got to watch you go from baby soccer nerd to Miss popular two-tone-hair-in-front-of-my-eye I'm-so-cool. And you're still a good kid. Amazing. Smart, catches onto every move so quickly, so sensitive, hungry for permanence. Thank you for accepting me into your home.

Kyle- I love you more than I love myself. We may look nothing alike but we're exactly the same. You'll be fine. You will find your way. It's nice to have the best inside jokes with someone. Hilarious, great taste in music, stubborn. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for only being a little embarrassed by me.

Jessica- We've had our ups...we've had our downs. I'm glad you are who you are today, but I'm still glad you were the person you were. You and I have both grown up a lot. Let's not make some of those same mistakes again. You rock.