Words I like...

1. Antidisestablishmentarianism- makes me think of my brother.

2. Quixotic- 'cause I sooo am.

3. Gams- makes me feel old fashioned.

4. Turkey baster- it just glides right off your tongue...and it makes me laugh.

5. Bitchin'- just because it's one of those words that lets you know the kind of person you are dealing with. No, I don't use it :).

6. Umami- because I knew what it was before Chris did.

7. Crotchity- some day.

The Time Line

Unfortunately, I can't remember dates. So it's just a line...

I hate my job at MB, Audi & Porsche and decide to become a personal trainer

Enroll and do well at CNM all the while getting worse at my job

Get rejected for the CNM IT job

1 week later I get hired for the CNM IT job

I am working as the CNM IT and liking it considerably while I finish off my internship with Sports and Wellness

2 weeks later...the program director quits and I'm left with a heap of shit to deal with.

1 month later I'm running his info sessions and doing some of his work

2 months later I'm helping with admin work on top of my own

4 months later I find teachers

1 day before Fall classes start...I am asked to teach because the teachers I picked have no degree...just loads of experience

For the next 4 months I work my ass off trying to do two jobs (IT and Teaching) at the same time with no workstudies, no experience and no guidance. During the 1st month I'm payed jack and sometime when they feel like it, they give me Director status to pay me for what I'm doing.

At some point during this semester they hire Julie as temporary IT and she hires workstudies.

I am asked to teach Spring. I teach for another term and do Tom's administration job.

During the summer I hold more info sessions for next year and begin another fall.

I find out they have me as Full time (Director) only until December.

Julie quits early July. For the two weeks I work both jobs and teach.

After that, they tell me they have kicked me out of my Director job yet I will now be responsible for IT and Part time faculty (teaching) still. Plus, I need to help someone else learn the admin portion. Oh, did I mention I now "owe" them $800 because they told HR I was IT the day Julie quit even though for that two weeks I held three positions?

They withhold $800 from my paycheck.

I now am supposed to work 56 hours at CNM. Okay fine. I have workstudies. I make do. I stay in my office working on my teaching material, quizzes, tests, reviews, correcting homework, putting together lectures, and holding office hours all week long to get my poor students up to snuff. Everyone tells me I'll be teaching for Fall and Spring.

3 weeks ago. I get a new boss. Patrick. I get an email from this person saying he needs my schedule. What schedule? My faculty schedule? It can wait.

2 weeks and 6 days ago. Patrick emails again insisting that I get him the schedule.

Some time after that I finally get it to him. He promptly shows up, says a whole bunch of nothing and leaves.

During the last two weeks he has called, emailed and popped in insessantly. Tells other people that I'm just doing all this for money and that if I can't do the job I should quit. Reports all of this to Richard (my assoc. dean). I ignore it until Patrick calls me into his office and begins ranting like an asshole.

I continue to ignore him and do my job.

Meanwhile, Richard tells me they are taking me off the lecture classes for the Spring. They want someone with a masters degree. No application is up. No interviews have been held. My students are pissed.

Last week Patrick can't find me and has me sign a paper saying that he has spoken to me about my job description and has requested the hours which I am to be in what exact location. Stupid me, I sign it.

Thursday of last week. I've had it. I quit. 2 weeks. He and Richard against me in the showdown I've been waiting for. They somehow trick me into staying through the end of the semester. Richard doesn't even look like he cares that I'm leaving next semester. As long as I teach him what I know before I leave. They agree to change my job description to allow me to do my job as an IT and do DIRECTOR work for them...without a pay raise.

Today I tell the good Dr. that I'm done. I'm sick of being here. I'm sick of making decisions. I'm sick of eating, cooking, cleaning, getting dressed, making conversation, paying bills, brushing my teeth, getting up in the morning, taking a shower, driving, reading, thinking. I want to go away. And I don't want them to follow me. He says nothing of my suicide threat. Perhaps he knows I won't do it.

I take my pills faithfully every morning fearing another panic attack, another physical symptom of stress, being unhappy but liking the simple consistancy of controlling what chemicals enter my body.

2 hours. 20 min. and 25 days until I am free.

A first

Someone I barely know walked up to me the other day and asked what drama was happening in my life today...Great.