Words I like...

1. Antidisestablishmentarianism- makes me think of my brother.

2. Quixotic- 'cause I sooo am.

3. Gams- makes me feel old fashioned.

4. Turkey baster- it just glides right off your tongue...and it makes me laugh.

5. Bitchin'- just because it's one of those words that lets you know the kind of person you are dealing with. No, I don't use it :).

6. Umami- because I knew what it was before Chris did.

7. Crotchity- some day.

The Time Line

Unfortunately, I can't remember dates. So it's just a line...

I hate my job at MB, Audi & Porsche and decide to become a personal trainer

Enroll and do well at CNM all the while getting worse at my job

Get rejected for the CNM IT job

1 week later I get hired for the CNM IT job

I am working as the CNM IT and liking it considerably while I finish off my internship with Sports and Wellness

2 weeks later...the program director quits and I'm left with a heap of shit to deal with.

1 month later I'm running his info sessions and doing some of his work

2 months later I'm helping with admin work on top of my own

4 months later I find teachers

1 day before Fall classes start...I am asked to teach because the teachers I picked have no degree...just loads of experience

For the next 4 months I work my ass off trying to do two jobs (IT and Teaching) at the same time with no workstudies, no experience and no guidance. During the 1st month I'm payed jack and sometime when they feel like it, they give me Director status to pay me for what I'm doing.

At some point during this semester they hire Julie as temporary IT and she hires workstudies.

I am asked to teach Spring. I teach for another term and do Tom's administration job.

During the summer I hold more info sessions for next year and begin another fall.

I find out they have me as Full time (Director) only until December.

Julie quits early July. For the two weeks I work both jobs and teach.

After that, they tell me they have kicked me out of my Director job yet I will now be responsible for IT and Part time faculty (teaching) still. Plus, I need to help someone else learn the admin portion. Oh, did I mention I now "owe" them $800 because they told HR I was IT the day Julie quit even though for that two weeks I held three positions?

They withhold $800 from my paycheck.

I now am supposed to work 56 hours at CNM. Okay fine. I have workstudies. I make do. I stay in my office working on my teaching material, quizzes, tests, reviews, correcting homework, putting together lectures, and holding office hours all week long to get my poor students up to snuff. Everyone tells me I'll be teaching for Fall and Spring.

3 weeks ago. I get a new boss. Patrick. I get an email from this person saying he needs my schedule. What schedule? My faculty schedule? It can wait.

2 weeks and 6 days ago. Patrick emails again insisting that I get him the schedule.

Some time after that I finally get it to him. He promptly shows up, says a whole bunch of nothing and leaves.

During the last two weeks he has called, emailed and popped in insessantly. Tells other people that I'm just doing all this for money and that if I can't do the job I should quit. Reports all of this to Richard (my assoc. dean). I ignore it until Patrick calls me into his office and begins ranting like an asshole.

I continue to ignore him and do my job.

Meanwhile, Richard tells me they are taking me off the lecture classes for the Spring. They want someone with a masters degree. No application is up. No interviews have been held. My students are pissed.

Last week Patrick can't find me and has me sign a paper saying that he has spoken to me about my job description and has requested the hours which I am to be in what exact location. Stupid me, I sign it.

Thursday of last week. I've had it. I quit. 2 weeks. He and Richard against me in the showdown I've been waiting for. They somehow trick me into staying through the end of the semester. Richard doesn't even look like he cares that I'm leaving next semester. As long as I teach him what I know before I leave. They agree to change my job description to allow me to do my job as an IT and do DIRECTOR work for them...without a pay raise.

Today I tell the good Dr. that I'm done. I'm sick of being here. I'm sick of making decisions. I'm sick of eating, cooking, cleaning, getting dressed, making conversation, paying bills, brushing my teeth, getting up in the morning, taking a shower, driving, reading, thinking. I want to go away. And I don't want them to follow me. He says nothing of my suicide threat. Perhaps he knows I won't do it.

I take my pills faithfully every morning fearing another panic attack, another physical symptom of stress, being unhappy but liking the simple consistancy of controlling what chemicals enter my body.

2 hours. 20 min. and 25 days until I am free.

A first

Someone I barely know walked up to me the other day and asked what drama was happening in my life today...Great.

More of the Same

Chris really likes the fact that I'm not a "preachy" person, and that I don't use my hella busy schedule to rub peoples' faces in the fact that they can't hold down a part time job and go to school. Well, I am a preachy person, but only in my head and on my blog. I like writing down my schedules and all the things happening in my life for the simple way of remembering how crazy I was when I was in my 20's (conjure a picture of Kristen in her 30s/40s, etc.)

Although I am painfully aware that people are different and that not all of them can pack their schedules so tightly, or even half as tight...I still resent people who complain about not having time to show up to class or do a homework assignment... However, sometimes those people have other really huge problems that they never tell you. Or they tell you when it's too late to help them out...

On the days when I feel dizzy

I pop a bottle of fizzy

Soak in a bath with bubbles

and sing away my troubles

Yoga helps to clear my mind

Missing thoughts are what I find

Every day I get closer to my dreams

I get farther away from my 20's and teens

I'm torn between carpe diem, cease the day

and years and months and bills to pay

I'll spend 5 minutes giving you a peak

while you tell me I'm crazy, for still more I seek

At this very moment I am an employee at three places and own my own business. Two or so years ago I pinned up the phrase "Don't let anything slip or you risk letting the everything fall." Basically I figured if I failed at being perfect at one thing, I was doomed to fail at everything I was doing at the time. Gee I hope that's not true. This week while trying to be productive at CNM, I forgot a client who sat and waited for me at Open Gym. Gee wiz. I write it down, I see it for a whole week, and when the time actually comes to get it my car and leave, I'm lost. Well, I set an alarm this time.

The point is, one can only be so effective while officially working 56 hours (more I would guess), an average of 14 at yet another, and squeezing in time for my devoted clients at the other. And now, because I couldn't wait another year or so, I had to go and open my business early. Did I mention that I'm taking a 3 credit hour class at UNM? It boggles my mind when I get As and Bs on everything I do in that class. I've only missed one class and that is what hurt me the most. I lost 28 points on my test because I didn't show up one Friday. So, while it may be hard or feel nearly impossible to "not let anything slip" it's actually exactly what I have to do...

I risk so much in failing in just one piece of the puzzle. A full schedule is NEVER an excuse. If I told Bryan that I was an hour late because I was tired from all the work I do, he'd fire me. If I miss another appointment with a client, I'll not only lose the client, but I'll lose any respect I held there...and possibly the job. And as was clear this week, if students even think for a SECOND that they are your second priority (which they are not) they will go straight to the dean of the program. I'm happy to say that upon visiting my 4.5 hour Saturday morning Kinesiology class, my dean gave me a glowing review. I'm proud of what I accomplish every day, but I know enough NEVER to use my schedule as a weapon, an excuse or a way to get away from problems in other areas of my life.

I make sure I'm home at night. I make sure to see my family on the weekends. And I'm fast losing a grip on keeping in contact with my father. Another crack in the pavement. One way I'm failing. And I should probably be getting on every other little thing I need to do in this very moment because my every waking hour I'm at CNM I'll be meeting individually with all 48 students over the next two weeks. That will force me to do all of my work before and after I'm officially at work. I still have two other jobs, lectures to prepare, countless fitness classes to teach, three families, a business to get moving, and two homes to maintain.

At this point I never say yes to anything without checking my schedule book first, because I don't trust my memory; And I haven't run/biked/swam for months now. The closest I've come to a treadmill was moping the tracks on the three at CNM. My business planner thinks I'm stupid :) (little misunderstanding on the LLC status) but my facebook status gets updated almost every day ;)! Funny enough, I've seen my friends more in the past couple of weeks than I usually do and Chris now gets to go climbing on a regular basis (this does wonders for our relationship).

Monday:

7-8am Yoga at Stone Age

830-945am Dr. Goodman (every other Monday)

(every OTHER Monday I either visit my house or get some homework done)

11-1150am Exercise Physiology at UNM

12-5 CNM (Clean, meet with students, write lectures, grade papers, fix/copy tests/quizzes, meet with superiors, balance check book :), respond to emails, manage workstudies, turn in timesheets, substitute classes, etc. etc.

(Once every two weeks or so I'll meet with my business planner at the SBDC for an hour or two, and once even three hours)

Tuesday:

6-8am Physical Fitness I at CNM

8-5 CNM

(sometimes have clients at 4/430pm, may hold kids yoga classes from 830-1030 and extend CNM hours)

(This week I have work training from 10am-12pm)

530-630pm Body Sculpting at Stone Age

(Once a month staff meeting at Stone Age 8-9pm)

Home: Study for Ex. Phys., home

Wednesday:

(I'm planning on my kids yoga classes being from 630-10am.)

11-1150 Ex. Phys. at UNM

12-5 CNM

530-950pm Business of Personal Training at CNM

Thursday:

6-8am Physical Fitness I at CNM

(one Thursday out of the month I attend my manditory IDA meeting from 9-10am)

(planning on teaching kids yoga from 830-10am)

(on the 29th I'm taking of from 930-1230 and 2-430 to take business classes at the SBDC)

8am-2pm CNM (or 1030-2)

230pm Client at Open Gym

330-5 CNM

530-630 Yoga at Stone Age

7pm Home, catch up on work, study for class, business work, etc.

Friday:

645-10am Stone Age desk duty

(Planning on teaching kids yoga from 630-10am)

11-1150 Ex. Phys. at UNM

12-5 CNM

Saturday:

8am-1220pm Kinesiology at CNM

(Usually work at Stone age afterwards until 7or 8pm)

(if not working, spending time with family, catching up on work, cleaning my car/apartment, etc.)

Sunday:

(Planning to teach kids yoga from 10am-230pm)

(Usually spend time at a personal training conference or webinar to complete my 60 hours manditory continuing education credits-I have 2 years to complete it)

(This month we have to find time to clean out the storage unit to save money and find a place for all of Chris' 100s of bio related books)

At some point I have to take the GRE and apply for grad school. I have no idea when that is going to happen. Maybe I should be studying or working now instead of blogging :):):).

I counted up the hours I have been officially at CNM working and it came out to 46 hours. I have to somehow make up for that 10 extra hours by working at home, getting everything done during the time I AM there, and working some extra time on Saturdays after class if I can.

When all is said and done, I'll be officially on the time clock for about 66 hours a week. But this doesn't include my class at UNM or hours at home I work. That's the name of the game.

Here's another one of those blogs no one Reads!

Okay folks, it's time for another crazy schedule update...

As the Summer term comes to an end, I can't help but think...."HELL YEAH!" Partly because it's getting trying, partly because I just need a fucking break, but mostly because I'm ready for Fall. I'm excited about it actually. Let's just hope that half way in I don't change my tune.
Beginning Aug. 31 and running all the way to Dec. 12th but not before a big 10 day life changing vaca. But that's another blog entirely ;).

Monday over the Rainbow:

5-630am Open Gym floor duty
7-8am Yoga at Stone Age
830am Run at Johnson (because now it's free again!)
11-1150am 1st day taking Exercise Phys. at UNM
12-5pm Director duties at CNM


Tuesday trepidations:

5-6am Open Gym floor duty
6-7am Spin class at Open Gym
12-5pm Director duties at CNM
530-630pm Body Sculpting at Stone Age


World Wide Wednesday:

9am Run at Johnson
11-1150am Exercise Phys. at UNM
12-5pm Office hours at CNM
530-950pm Teach Business of Personal Training at CNM

Tastefully Thursday:

6-730am Swim at Johnson
8-4pm Director duties at CNM
530-630pm Yoga at Stone Age

It's frightening that it's Friday:

6am Run at UNM
7-1030am Director duties at CNM
11-1150 Exercise Phys. at UNM
12-5 More director duties at CNM

Saturday I'm over the rainbow:

8-1220am Teaching Kinesiology at CNM
1230pm Swim at UNM

Sunday is like honey:

Who knows? Bike? Work some more? Study? Put together lectures? Lay around my apartment in a sleepy stupor? I hope so!

Things that change and happen on a sliding schedule: IDA meetings (for starting my business), SBDC clinics (business classes), Dr. G (thanks for the memories), training clients at OG & SACG, Aerial silks classes in Santa Fe, hanging out with Beth & Aaron...etc, etc.

If you see any time with YOU that I missed. Let me know! I'll add you right back in!

Pet Peeves

Go on. Ask me how I really feel. I fucking dare you...Not feeling so hot tonight. So here is the list I can make public. The other is under the strictest of lock and key. Sorry ladies, no can show you that one.


Here goes:

1. Being Tickled

2. Speed bumps

3. Roaches-spanning all space and time except the Wally movie.

3. When things stare at me while I eat.

4. Anger. Mine and anyone else's.

5. Birthday cards that have nothing written in them except the person's signature and the note that came printed on the card.

6. Coffee. Yes, it has done me wrong in the past 24 hours.

7. Smoking. Especially outside the gym. Come on people.

8. Being called a fat stupid whore (as a joke...(???)), having people laugh every time this person says it then being asked if I talk about it to my psychiatrist. Maybe next time is the time I walk out of their house. They know how to contact me if they have an apology. This will never happen.

I thought about renaming this blog post "Not-unhappy" which is the name of the photo. Just keep in mind that no matter what a person looks like on the outside, it doesn't mean they haven't had just as hard of a day as you've had. Be nice people! Be the person that makes others feel better, not worse.

A series of unfortunate...jokes

One day God spoke to Adam and Eve
He told them that he had a gift for each of them, but that they had to decide who got what

"The first gift is the gift of being able to pee while standing up"
Being excited about getting gifts, without hesitation, Adam exclaims "Pee standing up! That would be awesome! I'll take that one."

God says "Okay Adam- peeing while standing up, it's yours. Eve, you get the other...multiple orgasms"




Joke #2.

A hot blond walks into a casino and straight over to the craps table. A couple of dealers are standing around the table. The blond is eager to play. "I'm feelin' lucky tonight but I feel even more lucky when I'm completely nude...do you mind?" The dealers shake their heads in amazement. She strips down, shakes the dice... "Come on! Mama needs a new set of clothes" and rolls the dice. "I won I won!" she exclaims, jumping up and down excitedly.

The woman takes her chips, gathers her clothes and runs out of the casino.

One dealer looks at the other and asks " What did she roll?"
"I don't know, I thought you were watching."...

Moral of the story: Not all blonds are dumb, but all men are men.


Joke #3.

A blond and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane.
They start gambling-a friendly betting game.

"Okay, so if you can't answer one of my questions, you have to give me $5. If I can't answer one of yours, I give you $50," says the lawyer. "What is the distance from the Earth to the nearest star?"

Without saying a word, the blonde forks over the $5.
"What walks up a hill in the morning on two legs, but walks down the hill in the evening on four?" asks the blonde.

"Okay, you got me." He hands her the $50. She puts it away in her purse...
There is a brief silence...
"Okay, but what was the answer to your riddle?" asks the lawyer.

Without saying a word, the blonde forks over another $5.