About half a year or more ago, I decided to think about finding my father...well, I've been thinking about thinking about it for more than a while. Anyway, about a month or more ago I got his ss# from my Mom. Found him probably a week or so ago. Decided to think about thinking about calling him. The day before my birthday, he called my Dad. Sheesh, I was so slow he actually found my Dad before he found me and before I called him. Asked a ton of the obvious questions, and my Dad in turn told me as we were headed out for dinner. Said he wanted me to call in the morning...on my birthday.
So I did. I was so simple. Easy. Back from Spin class I walked out into Chris' back yard, sat down, and dialed him up...as though I were calling an old friend. He picks up, obviously not recognizing the #. I ask if this is "Mr. Mckernan" and when he says yes I tell him my name. Ah, the moment of realization.
Two hours later and I had learned more than I ever thought I would know. For one, he goes by Dan now, not Danny. And for two, he does have a job and he's actually quite smart. This may not sound like a revelation to you but for years I had been convinced that every sinister looking man running my way was out to steal me from my Mom and prostitute me out for drug money...just saying- I was happy to find out that this was far from the truth.
Things:
1. We actually have a very similar political stance.
2. He has 2 sisters and 1 brother.
3. Never been remarried or had any kids after us
4. Loves folk festivals- Dar Williams and Arlo Guthrie are his favorite
5. I got to talk to my grandmother for a minute
6. I have lots of cousins
7. He has a myspace page devoted to finding me.
8. I was conceived in Germany
9. Not much of a Dead Head
10. Has a tickle me elmo somewhere...lol.
11. Used to be part of a cover band called the tangents-very good.
12. Is very handy with computers- linux
13. Doesn't smoke
14. Manages a sea food department
15. Used to work in Casinos making very good money
16. Remembers my Mom's family
17. Has blue eyes with brown in one.
18. Voted for O'Bama
19. Told me to tell my mom that he thinks very highly of her. That was nice to hear.
20. Lives in NH
21. Has a sister that lives in AZ
Since then I had a conversation with my cousin Karen. She doesn't remember much about him, but told me to be careful, guarded, smart. Obviously, I'll respect the wishes of my mom and not discuss her, I'll respect not telling him where they are, I'll even be physically careful...but I cannot and will not be emotionally guarded. I think he deserves a chance of his own on that one.
So I did. I was so simple. Easy. Back from Spin class I walked out into Chris' back yard, sat down, and dialed him up...as though I were calling an old friend. He picks up, obviously not recognizing the #. I ask if this is "Mr. Mckernan" and when he says yes I tell him my name. Ah, the moment of realization.
Two hours later and I had learned more than I ever thought I would know. For one, he goes by Dan now, not Danny. And for two, he does have a job and he's actually quite smart. This may not sound like a revelation to you but for years I had been convinced that every sinister looking man running my way was out to steal me from my Mom and prostitute me out for drug money...just saying- I was happy to find out that this was far from the truth.
Things:
1. We actually have a very similar political stance.
2. He has 2 sisters and 1 brother.
3. Never been remarried or had any kids after us
4. Loves folk festivals- Dar Williams and Arlo Guthrie are his favorite
5. I got to talk to my grandmother for a minute
6. I have lots of cousins
7. He has a myspace page devoted to finding me.
8. I was conceived in Germany
9. Not much of a Dead Head
10. Has a tickle me elmo somewhere...lol.
11. Used to be part of a cover band called the tangents-very good.
12. Is very handy with computers- linux
13. Doesn't smoke
14. Manages a sea food department
15. Used to work in Casinos making very good money
16. Remembers my Mom's family
17. Has blue eyes with brown in one.
18. Voted for O'Bama
19. Told me to tell my mom that he thinks very highly of her. That was nice to hear.
20. Lives in NH
21. Has a sister that lives in AZ
Since then I had a conversation with my cousin Karen. She doesn't remember much about him, but told me to be careful, guarded, smart. Obviously, I'll respect the wishes of my mom and not discuss her, I'll respect not telling him where they are, I'll even be physically careful...but I cannot and will not be emotionally guarded. I think he deserves a chance of his own on that one.
